PAIRS ESSENTIALS
WHAT'S PAIRS ESSENTIALS
PAIRS Essentials helps committed couples deepen connection and bonding through research-validated, experiential learning delivered over weekend or extended multi-week formats. Curriculum introduces essential skills for improving communication, self-worth, empathy, emotional expression, and healthy conflict resolution on behalf of lasting improvements in relationship satisfaction.
PAIRS Essentials Certification Training Excerpts
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Welcome PAIRS Essentials offers a new framework for the relationship journey and practical, usable skills for successful relationships.Welcome
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Language of Love Throughout PAIRS Essentials, participants learn new terms and a unique meaning of some that may already be familiar. Language itself increases the potential for deeper understanding, closeness, and healing.Language of Love
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Levels of Learning Past upsetting, hurtful, painful relationship events are more likely connected to unconscious incompetence than bad intentions. Developing new behaviors/habits requires recognizing the desired change, making the change, and sustaining the change under stress.Levels of Learning
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Stages of Relationship Relationships typically go through four predictable stages. Recognizing the impact of our behaviors during times of disappointment brings new possibilities to create long-lasting accepting, loving relationships.Stages of Relationship
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Three Hopes, Three Fears Couples may unknowingly bring secret hopes and fears to their closest relationships. Although we enter love relationships with hopes, fears can follow in the shadows. These fears can come from the part of us whose job it is to look out for danger and protect us from it. It's as if we have an invisible radar that is not fine-tuned. So anything that is similar to what upset or hurt us in the past will be recognized as though the danger is happening again.Three Hopes, Three Fears
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Relationship Road Map Framework for the PAIRS journey based on biological needs and how we tend to experience life when our needs are not met.Relationship Road Map
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Invitation Rule Creating a safe space for conversations that matter is vital. The Invitation Rule encourages appreciation for the value of making engagement a priority within an agreed upon period when requested; generally within 24 hours.Invitation Rule
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Communication Stress Styles Recognize styles of communication in ourselves and in others that keep us disconnected when we are under stress and become aware of impact on bonding of masking thoughts and feelings.Communication Stress Styles
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Daily Temperature Reading Creating an environment of open, flowing communication and proactive problem-solving in a way that strengthens connection, understanding, and resilience doesn't happen by itself. The Daily Temperature Reading helps couples and families increase their ability to confide, build self-esteems, and encourages intimacy.Daily Temperature Reading
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Talking Tips Differences are a natural aspect to every close relationship. Talking Tips provides a structured skill for confiding that helps identify and reflect on key dimensions of a specific behavioral concern and unambiguous change request without blaming, judging, or criticizing.Talking Tips
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Love Bank Many people promise feelings of love without understanding the source of the emotion of love. Learn various ways to nurture feelings of love, strengthen positive feelings between partners, and increase goodwill. Recognize that each partner has different needs and desires that change at different times and periods of life.Love Bank
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Emotional Stages An Adult’s emotional behavior in varied circumstances will often have as much, and often even greater impact, on what happens in a relationship than core issues. Emotional stages is an opportunity to distinguish attitudes that can interfere with constructive problem solving from those that promote mutual respect.Emotional Stages
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Emotional Jug Understanding emotions and how they work is vital to intimacy. Understanding the "emotional jug" is an opportunity to strengthen the likelihood of responding with compassion and empathy instead of reactiveness to expressions of anger, fear, pain, sadness, and similar emotions.Emotional Jug
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Fair Fight for Change Structured tool to talk about difficult problems in relationships so that both partners can express their needs and wants in a way that is safe and helps people listen to each other.Fair Fight for Change
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Love Knots Love Knots are hidden negative beliefs and expectations that can make it hard to feel close to our partners. This segment helps participants identify their own Love Knots so that they can do a better job of connecting and confiding with their partnersLove Knots
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Emotional Allergies Similar to physical allergies, individuals can have intense emotional responses unique to their personal life experiences, perceptions and decisions. PAIRS calls these "emotional allergies," and they are often the source of enormous pain in our closest relationships. PAIRS teaches couples to transform upsetting experiences into greater closeness, understanding, and healing.Emotional Allergies
